


1 wonder 1f 1'm good enough

by arsonenthusiast



Series: that's just real1ty, yeah, don't l1e to me [3]
Category: Splatoon
Genre: Angst, Other, nonbinary!Dedf1sh, typing quirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-09 17:47:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20998847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsonenthusiast/pseuds/arsonenthusiast
Summary: there's rules 1'll never followpretend there's no tomorrow





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Conclusions

you stand there, playing mus1c as usual. you w1sh you felt l1ke you could stop. you really, really want to stop.

ever s1nce you remembered, you've been cons1der1ng the mus1c you're be1ng made to play. you wouldn't be play1ng 1t 1f there wasn't a purpose to 1t.

so what was that purpose?

you know the other changed octol1ngs are useless w1thout commands, yet every t1me someone enters one of the test stat1ons, they know exactly what to do. why 1s that? how 1s that?

you know there's a connect1on here somewhere, but you can't f1gure 1t out...

you real1ze you've stopped play1ng.

oh cod. you fucked up.

-

You're in the middle of yet another test station when the music abruptly stops. The sanitized Octarians you're fighting against instantly stop attacking. They seem confused. What is going on?

\- 

you qu1ckly start play1ng the mus1c aga1n, p1ck1ng up where you left off.

you hope that freaky phone d1dn't somehow not1ce that happening...

-

Just like that, the music starts up again, and the Octarians resume attacking.

As you dodge their attacks and quickly splat them, you wonder if the music has something to do with the Octarian's ability to function properly.

You exit the test station and board the train again, heading, for some reason, to Central Station. As you ride there, Pearl and Marina discuss what happened during the test.

Marina mentions something about a song known as the Calamari Inkantation, and a memory nudges the back of your mind - one of a fabulous concert, one with DJ Octavio opening...you can't seem to remember who was headlining, but you know that they sang a song called the Calimari Inkantation, freeing you and your friend from DJ Octavio's control.

Perhaps this music functioned similarly to the Inkantation, in the way that it was affecting the Octarians on a psychological level.

You wonder who's playing this music. You decide to find out.

-

no one 1s 1ns1de any of the test stat1ons at the moment, so you get to take a break. as you rest your f1ngers, you wonder what exactly th1s mus1c that you're be1ng made to play 1s do1ng.

you suspect that your mus1c may be transm1tt1ng orders to the octar1ans 1n the test stat1ons, but you're not sure.

you hope you're wrong.

-

You manage to sneak past the creepy telephone and make your way into the back hallways. You wander around there for awhile, avoiding any and all sanitization labs, until you eventually, finally, enter an empty room with nothing but a set of turntables in the center of it. A sanitized Octoling leans against the back wall, not seeming to notice you at first. They're taller than most of the sanitized Octolings down here, and the ends of their tentacles are red rather than green.

That's...a very familiar red. And a very familiar Octoling overall, actually.

"Oh my cod...Ahato, is that you?"

-

a vo1ce sounds 1n the room. you look up, and see an octol1ng girl - a normal, unchanged one - stand1ng 1n the doorway, star1ng at you with a very pecul1ar look on her face.

then, 1t reg1sters that she called you a name...ahato.

1s that your name? 1t feels...r1ght, somehow.

you say as much. the express1on on the other octol1ng's face sh1fts from pecul1ar to str1cken.

she apolog1zes. when you ask what for, she says that 1t's her fault you ended up l1ke th1s.

for a moment, you're angry. then, she elaborates.

she's the one who put you 1n the s1tuation that allowed you to fall 1nto the metro, she tells you. 1f 1t hadn't been for her, you wouldn't have been 1n a pos1t1on to be san1t1zed.

san1t1z1ng? 1s that what the change 1s called?

you accept her apology. you don't remember much, but you know 1t wasn't her fault.

after a moment, you ask her name. she doesn't answer.

-

They don't remember you.

The thought is crushing. You tore through test after test after test, with no regard to your own well-being, all for the purpose of making sure they were okay, when they were down here, sanitized, the whole time, and they don't remember you.

A few tears slide down your cheeks.

-

she's cry1ng.

1s th1s because of you?

you walk over and kneel 1n front of her, and brush away her tears. w1thout th1nk1ng about what you're do1ng, you press your l1ps to her forehead. you're just try1ng to comfort her at th1s po1nt.

-

It's the strange, yet welcome sensation of their lips against your forehead that snap you out of it.

You flush a little bit, but it's not very easily noticeable in the dark, which you're grateful for. You apologize for freaking out over their memory loss, and they insist that you just forget about it. You decide that that probably is a good decision.

After a long moment, you decide to ask them.

"Do you want to escape with me?"

\- 

she asks 1f you want to escape w1th her.

you're 1n shock.

you don't even know th1s g1rl's name, and yet she's st1ll w1ll1ng to help you escape the metro, green sk1n and all.

th1s g1rl really 1s someth1ng.

you accept the offer, and she sm1les, and that sm1le 1s the br1ghtest, most rad1ant th1ng you've ever seen, and you f1nd yourself star1ng, because how could you not stare at someth1ng so beaut1ful?

on the one hand, you w1sh you hadn't forgotten her. on the other hand, you are very much look1ng forward to get to know her aga1n.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm getting really tired so I decided to split this last piece into two parts. I'll write the rest after I've gotten some more sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the thoughts in my mind, too much  
Going on at the same time, I  
Wish it would stop and I've tried, but  
Life just sucks then we all die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to timeskip to after they escape the Metro.
> 
> (They're living with Pearl and Marina btw)

you s1t next to e1ght, look1ng out over 1nkopol1s, enjoy1ng the v1ew.

1t's been a w1ld r1de, for sure, but you f1nally made 1t- you're on the surface. you don't have to worry about dy1ng anymore, probably.

1t feels l1ke 1t should be more sat1sfy1ng than th1s.

but then aga1n, you suppose everyth1ng would be more sat1sfy1ng 1f you could go out 1n publ1c w1thout be1ng stared at constantly.

you really, _really_ w1sh you hadn't been san1t1zed. th1ngs could def1n1tely be better, but at least you have e1ght. she's been the one constant 1n your l1fe ever since you escaped the metro together. throughout all of the mov1ng, pan1c, compl1cat1ons, she was always there, always by your s1de.

you want to thank her for 1t, but you're not sure how.

-

Sitting next to Ahato, you glance at them out of the corner of your eye.

It's been a very long, very complicated process, getting everything set up so that they could live a relatively peaceful life in Inkopolis. There's been talk of trying to cure the sanitization, which, though it certainly would be nice, also worries you, because what if it went wrong? What would happen to them then? Wait, no, stop, stop thinking about that, it won't help, _stop-_

Complications aside, it's been interesting getting to know this new Ahato. The sanitization changed them, sure, but what essentially made them who they are hasn't changed one bit.

It's a little saddening, though, knowing that they barely remember who you used to be, and that they probably never will.

You wish you could have never remembered so much. You're glad you remembered that you knew each other - otherwise you wouldn't be here at all - but was it really necessary to remember so much about how you used to be in so much excruciating detail?

It hurts. You can't deny it, it hurts knowing all that you lost, and that it will never be that way ever again, because Ahato is a different person now, and you're a different person now, and you really don't know how to deal with that. You're not sure you want to deal with that.

You know you have to, but you don't want to.

Suddenly, a voice comes from behind you. You turn around to see Paruko from Chirpy Chips asking if either of you wanted to join them for a movie downstairs. You don't see why not, and evidently neither does Ahato, so you both follow Paruko downstairs to watch the movie. It's a sappy romantic comedy, and you all get quite a few good laughs out of the cheesiness of it all. But the whole time, in the back of your mind for some reason, you can't stop thinking about Ahato.

Why can't you stop thinking about them?

-

the mov1e you watched was good, you suppose. not the best, but 1t made e1ght laugh, and you found 1t funny as well, so 1t can't be that bad.

you couldn't focus on the mov1e, to be honest. you spent the ent1re t1me th1nk1ng about how you could thank e1ght for be1ng there for you w1thout sound1ng l1ke someone stra1ght out of th1s cheesy romcom.

you d1dn't come up w1th anyth1ng. your m1nd was too scattered to th1nk stra1ght.

after the mov1e ends, e1ght str1kes up a conversat1on w1th paruko and another one of her bandmates - you can't remember h1s name - and you absent-m1ndedly zone out of the conversat1on. or at least, you do unt1l the word "crush" catches your attent1on.

you glance at e1ght, who 1s blush1ng fur1ously and glar1ng at paruko.

you k1nd of w1sh you had been pay1ng more attent1on to the1r conversat1on.

-

"I do NOT have a crush!"

You glare at Paruko, who looks as if she doesn't believe you in the slightest.

You suppose you can't entirely blame her, considering how much you're blushing right now.

...

Okay, so maybe you were lying when you said that. But you can't exactly say that out loud!

Especially considering the fact that the object of your affections is sitting right next to you, though they don't seem to have been paying much attention to your conversation.

Still, the awkwardness gets to you too much for you to stay there after that, so you stand up, muttering a goodbye to Ahato and ignoring everyone else in the room, and leave.

After a few minutes of wandering through the building, you run into Marina. She immediately asks what's wrong.

Wow. Is it really that obvious?

You tell her, of course.

She doesn't say much about it, just that I should tell them soon, or I'd probably end up regretting it.

She's right.

I guess she knows from experience.

-

when e1ght leaves, the mood 1n the room d1es qu1ckly.

after paruko leaves, there's no po1nt 1n you stay1ng, as you don't know anyone else, so you get up and leave. after a moment, you dec1de to look for e1ght.

you can't f1nd her.

1s she h1d1ng on purpose?

after an hour or so, you head back to your room. she'll show up eventually, you guess. you just have to be pat1ent.

r1ght?

-

You're hiding.

You can't face anyone right now, or at least, that's what it feels like.

You're not sure if you're hiding from Paruko, Pearl, Ahato, or just everyone.

Or maybe you're hiding from your own emotions.

You shouldn't feel this way about them.

You don't deserve to.

Not when it was your fault that they were sanitized in the first place.

-

you don't see her the next day, e1ther.

where d1d she go?

-

You leave that night.

You don't really know where to go, so you just wander around Inkpolis until you run into Three, who, when told of the situation, offers to let you crash at her place for the night.

You don't tell her much, and she doesn't ask questions. You thank her, and silently hang out for the rest of the night, doing random shit.

Four drops by at around midnight, and shenanigans ensue.

It's a fun night, to be sure, but the thoughts that have been bugging you ever since you came back to the surface still persist.

Will they ever leave you alone?

You're starting to doubt it.

The next morning, Three tells you that you should go back home, and you listen, because as much as you don't want to admit it, she's right, and things will never get better if you don't tell them how you feel.

You find Ahato as soon as you get there, and ask if you can talk in private.

They say yes.

You think that you might never have been more nervous in your entire life.

-

when e1ght f1nally appears aga1n, the rel1ef you feel 1s 1ndescr1bable.

when she asks 1f you could talk 1n pr1vate, the rel1ef 1s 1mmed1ately replaced w1th dread.

you agree, of course. you're afra1d that she m1ght d1sappear aga1n 1f you don't.

e1ght heads to her room, and you follow.

what does she want to tell you?

you don't want to adm1t 1t, but you're a l1ttle scared to f1nd out...

-

When you're alone, you tell them.

You try not to think about what you're saying, instead focusing on just getting the words out.

You tell them why you left the room after the movie yesterday.

You tell them you love them. And why you feel like you shouldn't.

When you're finished speaking, it's silent.

You're scared.

-

she loves you?

you don't really know what to say to that.

you're st1ll gett1ng used to feel1ng aga1n.

you say so, and she sm1les sadly, and says that's f1ne, and that's all she wanted to say and you can leave now 1f you want to.

after a moment, you take her up on that offer.

you th1nk you m1ght need a b1t of t1me to process.

**Author's Note:**

> This feels...unfinished.
> 
> I might need another follow-up to this.


End file.
